How to Regain a Heart for Unbelievers

“When I came to Christ, I wanted to tell everybody about Him. He was the one person I felt all my friends needed to know, and I even saw one or two of them come to Christ. Yet now that I’ve been a Christian for ten years, I just don’t have the same excitement for sharing Christ. I hate to admit it, but I really don’t care whether I talk to unbelievers or not.”

This kind of confession is very common among believers. The condition behind confessions like these often ranges from not taking time to spend with unbelievers to not feeling concern about their eternal destiny. These Christians should be complimented for confessing something that is far easier to deny. Realizing their lack of compassion, they often ask: “How can I regain my concern for lost people?” A few simple, practical ideas can cause a world of change in regaining this concern for unbelievers.

Will you regain your concern for the lost overnight? Most likely, no. But in a matter of time, you’ll find you’re further along than you were. That in itself will begin to encourage you as you seek to have a heart closely aligned with God’s. It’s not just where you are but also the direction in which you’re headed that’s important. If six months from now you can say, “I have a much greater concern for lost people now than I did six months ago and here’s the proof…” you will know you are on the right track.

Draw Closer to Jesus Christ

We must recognize that unconcern for unbelievers is—at least in part—a spiritual growth issue. If we take the Scriptures at face value, there is simply no way of getting close to Christ without seeing how much He cares for those for whom He died. Luke 19:10 is quite explicit: “For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.” In light of that clear statement, is it possible to get close to the Master’s heart without getting close to the Master’s mission? Consider Matthew 4:19 where Christ extended the invitation, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.”

How, then, can we follow closely in His footsteps without being captivated by His concern for the lost? If we would like to think of ourselves as growing Christians, a good biblical barometer of our growth would be, “How concerned am I for lost people?” Does that mean if we do not witness to one person a day, we are not close to Christ and have no concern for the lost? Not for a moment. He wants our lives to be motivated by relationships, not regulations. It is to say, however, that if we draw close to Jesus Christ, we will find His concern for the lost rubbing off on us. Known as the friend of sinners, His whole life revolved around lost people. Since they are so close to His heart, the closer we draw to Him, the closer we draw to the people for whom He died.

Therefore, we ought to ask ourselves the question, “Are we spending the time daily getting to know Christ better, talking to Him through prayer, and letting Him talk to us through the Scriptures?” Or are we like Martha in Luke 10 who was so “worried and troubled about many things” that she neglected just sitting down and talking to Him and letting Him talk to her? A genuine, growing relationship with Him should lead to a growing closeness to non-Christians.

Spend Time with Unbelievers

Another way to regain concern for unbelievers is to examine our lives and make some necessary adjustments. Ask yourself this question: Am I living life in a bubble? A Christian bubble is any comfortable place that affords shelter from non-Christians.

“But I’m not really comfortable around non-Christians,” one might remark. But God never asks, “Are you comfortable around them?” God asks, “Do you pity them?” Jesus was moved with compassion for the multitudes that followed Him and longed to be their Shepherd and gather them into His fold (Matt. 9:36). If we share that compassion, we must spend time with lost people in hopes of leading them to the Savior. If we are living in a Christian bubble, we don’t have contact with unbelievers. Without contacts, personal evangelism becomes impossible. How do we speak to people we never see?

Once we come to know the Savior, our desires and interests have a way of changing. We find that it’s more enjoyable to be around believers and hear them speak of prayer, Bible study, or a bit of nourishment they have received through Christian radio. It’s fun knowing those who realize there is more to life than a new house and a new car. Even church becomes a place of fellowship with Christians of like mind instead of our spending time with those of a different mind.

List several non-Christians you know and ask yourself, “What can be done now to have the kind of meaningful contact with them that could result in conversations about Christ?” Remember to make the most of every opportunity (Col. 4:5).

Cultivate Meaningful Relationships with Non-Christians

Start thinking of non-Christians you know, even though you may have no meaningful contact with them. Then, considering a few at a time, and think of ways you can cultivate a meaningful relationship with each one. Be realistic. You don’t have little if any time to give, so forget about taking time out of your schedule. Instead consider ways to work them into your schedule. A Friday night ball game at a local high school could be just as easily enjoyed with the company of an unbeliever. A non-Christian homemaker might welcome a ride to the mall. Bear in mind that even an hour together now might lead to an afternoon together later—and a superb opportunity to explain the grace of God proven on the cross.

Do you like to play tennis? Play it with a non-Christian. A man who was led to Christ by a friend on the tennis court once said, “The good news is that I was led to Christ; the bad news is my tennis game is messed up.” When asked the obvious question, “Why?” He replied, “The man God used to get me thinking about spiritual things prefers to play tennis with unbelievers, so I’ll have to find a new tennis partner!” The new believer respected his friend for that. He said, “I understand. Frankly, I’d like to see him play tennis with as many non-Christians as possible, so he can have the impact on them that he had on me.”

Ask God to Restore Your Concern For Non-Christians

Is God who He says He is or isn’t He? Of course He is! If so, then we can speak to God as simply, humbly, and sincerely about our lack of concern for the lost as we speak about our temptations, financial struggles, employment hassles, or marital difficulties. The Scriptures exhort us, “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Heb. 4:16). That being the case, I can come to Him and say, “God, You’re easy to talk to, but what I want to tell You is not easy to talk about. I really don’t share Your compassion for the lost. Quite frankly, non-Christians don’t concern me that much. But if You will help me change, then I’m willing and I’d like to start today. Would You help me develop the same kind of heart that You have—one that cares for those who don’t know You? I’ve seen You answer my other prayers. Would You kindly answer this one?” Or we can say, “I get my priorities so messed up, but if You will show me how, I want to move lost people up on my list of priorities.”

One word of caution: If we sincerely mean what we pray, we need to stand back and get ready. God will answer. He has an abundant supply of compassion for those who ask Him for it. First John 5:14–15 assures, “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.” There is no question that such a prayer is according to His will, so when we pray for a heart like His we may expect an answer.